Miserable At Best
by RachelWay
Summary: 5 years ago, he went on a mission & never came back. She thought he was dead. Now, she's raising their child unaware of the fact he's in Soul Society. Then she and her daughter get killed. And she finds him there. IchiXOC & other pairs. Give it a chance?


Hello everybody! My name is Rachel a.k.a. Mrs. Radke-Cifer, and this is my first fan fiction so, please, be gentle? ;) Before you read, there are some things I must explain so that you can understand the story. Basically, Ichigo never lost his powers, but the Winter War already happened. Yes, it's a bit confusing, so sorry for that ^^' and another thing, Ichigo isn't dead, but most people in the human world think he's dead. Again, confusing, but it'll all be revealed in due time :3 Oh! And I apologize for the monstrous first chapter…it's a bit slow but I wanted to get a bunch of stuff out of the way . I promise that the story will get better. So R&R! Thanks! C:

The song I listened to on repeat while writing this: Reverse this curse-ETF

The song I named the title after: Miserable at best-Mayday Parade

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH, I ONLY OWN MY ORIGINAL CHARACTERS.

Miserable at best

Ch.1: The end and the beginning

_July 15th__. Another year without him. _Aria Mori glanced away from the digital clock sitting on the nightstand. She sighed and brushed back the midnight waist length locks into a long ponytail, before placing her feet on the cool wooden floor. She rubbed the sleep out of her large silvery eyes. _Another night of bitter oblivion…_

As the tall woman made her way down the stairs, she peeked into her daughter's room. The auburn haired five-year-old was sleeping soundly, snoring peacefully. Aria smiled gently to herself and continued to the kitchen and made herself some coffee. She sipped the steaming cup while packing her daughter, Miyuki's, lunch for school. Aria ran her fingers along the smooth ceramic cup decorated with snowmen wearing green and red hats, accompanied with matching scarves. The black haired female thought back to the previous winter when Miyuki had gifted her with it.

"_Okaa-san! Okaa-san! Look what I got for you!" As the 22-year-old mother turned, the blue-eyed child thrust the coffee mug into her hands. The young girl looked at her mother hopefully, with a jubilant smile adorned on her face. The smile was returned along with a loving hug. "Mi-Chan, I absolutely adore it! Where did you get this, koibito?" "Okaa-san, it was 'Himitsu no Santa- Secret Santa', today! I used my lunch money to buy them" Miyuki shuffled her feet nervously, hoping she wouldn't get in trouble for spending her lunch money on other things. Her beautiful mother only smiled softly and bent down to her child's height. "ne ne, Mi-Chan, thank you for the lovely gift, but you shouldn't go hungry just to get me a present… and what to you mean 'them'? What else did you buy?" Miyuki's face lit up enthusiastically as she dug through her school pack. "I bought Otou-san one too! Can I give it to him Okaa-san? Onegai?" Aria's throat tightened, so she opted for nodding instead of trying to speak. The red-headed girl scuttled to her father's shrine. "Otou-san! Look what I got for you, I hope you love it." She proceeded to place the mug on one of the shelves of her late father's shrine. Miyuki nodded victoriously and then continued to tell her father's picture about her day at school, and all the things she had learned. Aria stood to the side, smiling sadly. She wished that Miyuki's father was actually there, but she knew it was impossible. 'Oh, Ichigo, you would be so proud of her, our daughter…'_

Aria was snapped out her reverie when she heard small thumping steps on the carpeted stairs. At the bottom of the stairs stood Miyuki, yawning cutely and clutching her pink silk blanket. The single mother walked over to the blue-eyed child and leaned down to her, placing a small kiss on the top of her head. "Good morning sleepy head, did you have pleasant dreams?" the girl nodded and rubbed her eyes with one hand. "Okaa-san, I'm hungry…" the older woman laughed and placed a hand on top of Miyuki's small head. "I figured that would be the case. How about you go get dressed-I've already laid out your clothes-and then come back down and eat breakfast. We don't want you to be late for school do we?" At the promise of food, Miyuki raced upstairs to ready herself for the day. Aria laughed again and shook her head, then walked back into the kitchen to prepare her daughter's morning meal.

After Miyuki had eaten and finished getting ready, she was ready to catch the bus to kindergarten. Hearing the bus honk its noisy horn, she threw the door open and was about to walk onto the bus when she remembered something. She sped back into the house while her mother watched with mild amusement. "did you forget something Mi-Chan?" Aria asked as the dangled Miyuki's power puff girls lunch box in front of her. The five-year-old nodded and took the lunch box. "I forgot this too! But that's not why I came back in…" The black-haired woman gave her child a confused look. Miyuki, however, ignored it and walked over to Ichigo's shrine. "Happy birthday Otou-san!" She kissed the framed picture and then walked back out the door. Aria smiled softly at the young girl's remembrance. Then, she too opened the door and walked onto the front steps where she saw Miyuki boarding the bus. "Mi-Chan! You forgot something else!" Now it was Miyuki's turn to look confused. She watched her young guardian walk over, and stand in front of her. Miyuki was up to Aria's waist because she was standing on the highest step of the bus. "You forgot my good-bye hug!" Her mother stated with teasing hurt. Miyuki blushed as she heard her classmates giggling in the back round but ignored it and squeezed her mother tightly. "Aishiteru, okaa-san." The bright eyed woman smiled at her sweet child and kissed her on the forehead. "Aishiteru, Mi-Chan. Have a good day at school!" Aria watched as the bus sped on down the street before heading inside.

The dark haired mourner kneeled down by her late boyfriend's shrine. She allowed a few tears to spill from her eyes as she reminisced about many good and bad memories. The fights, the love, the promises. The promises. He had always been good at keeping them, save for the one most important to her…

"_I __**will**__ come back. And when I come back, you will be mine, forever." The hero held his love's hands in his delicately. He hated to have to leave her, to go somewhere dangerous and make her worry for him. He would come back from every mission, safe, for her. She was a huge part of the reason he never gave up. Part of the reason he never succumbed to the pain, the loss, of any assignment. Ichigo Kurosaki, 18-years of age, a war hero to the soul society, would come back to her. He promised her, he promised himself, hell, he promised __everyone __he'd come back. As soon as he got back, he was going to marry the love of his life, Aria Mori. She would become Aria Kurosaki, and make him the happiest man on earth. Said woman looked up at him with her beautiful silvery eyes tinted with gentle blue and violet hues. She smiled at him, a reassuring smile with a hint of worry in them. He hated to make her worry. He leaned down slightly to press his lips to hers, softly, but passionately. "I love you, Aria. Don't worry for me. Take care of yourself and if you could, watch over Karin and Yuzu?" By this time his two young sisters were informed of all the soul-reaper business and happenings. Karin had taken it well. She had not been surprised. Yuzu on the other hand, was scared. She was terrified of the chance that she could loose someone so important in her life again. But she coped surprisingly easily, with the help of her family, and Aria. Aria and Ichigo began seeing each other shortly after the winter war. She had always been able to see ghosts and was well informed of soul reapers and soul society. They quickly fell in love. She was loved by most of Ichigo's friends, the only exception was Rukia. She never liked the girl for reasons unknown to Ichigo. "Ichigo, I'll be fine. Yes, I'll look over Karin and Yuzu, they're like my little sisters. Just…be careful and come back to me in one piece." Aria laughed gently as she spoke the last sentence. The carrot-topped soul reaper smiled. "I promise." The determination in his eyes was solid. Aria smiled at that. "Shall we kiss on it?" Ichigo only answered by kissing her lovingly._

"Okaa-san? …Okaa-san?" Aria was gently shook awake. She hadn't even realized she had drifted off…"Okaa-san?" She tilted her head up towards the young voice. "Yes Mi-Chan?" "…Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you?" True to her daughter's words, the blacknette lifted her hand to her cheek and found that it was damp. She glanced back up at Miyuki "I'm okay honey, I'm fine." The child looked at her mother with unbelieving eyes. "I don't think so…people only cry when they're really happy or sad right? You're not smiling, so you must be sad. Do you miss Otou-san?" Miyuki kneeled beside her mother, who was sprawled out on the floor. She wiped her mother's tears with her small hand. "Don't cry Okaa-san, I'm here." The words of the auburn haired child brought on another round of tears from the 22-year-old. She held her daughter close as she cried. It always amazed her, how much like her father Miyuki could be. As she sobbed, Miyuki just hugged her mother and allowed a small tear to slip down her cheek. She never got to meet her dad. She was told her had been MIA, never found, and presumed dead. Miyuki had heard many stories of her amazing father from Aria. She prayed every night that he was waiting for them in Soul Society if that's where he even ended up. The blue eyed 5 year old was still hazy on the details of the life her father lead. She comforted her mother a little while longer until Aria pulled herself together. Aria squeezed Miyuki tightly and offered her a small smile. "Why don't we go give Uncle Kisuke a visit?"

"Urahara Oji-san!" The blonde man looked up through the brim of his hat before being suddenly tackled into a hug from a flying ball of red hair. "Ne, ne, Mi-Chan, Urahara Oji-san is very old and frail, you don't want to break him do you?" The teasing inquisition was made by none other than Yoruichi Shihoin. The 5-year old leapt right off of Urahara and dashed towards the purple haired woman. "Yoruichi Oba-san!" Yoruichi caught the playful kindergartener in her arms and spun her around. "MiMi-Chan! Haven't seen ya in a while kiddo!" By this time, Urahara had picked himself up from off the ground and strolled over to Yoruichi and Miyuki. While they were both fussing over Miyuki, Aria stood in the doorway with an amused grin. "What am I, chopped liver?" She asked with mock hurt. Yoruichi turned towards her with a laugh while Urahara just waved her off. The former captain of squad two pulled Aria into a close hug and greeted her. "Where have you guys been? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while" The blacknette hugged her friend back and laughed. "Sorry about that. We've been terribly busy lately, you know, with Miyuki starting kindergarten already…I'll tell you, the years really do fly by. I still remember Miyuki when she used to wear diapers and could barely walk. Now the kid is everywhere. It's exhausting!" Yoruichi gave the younger woman a sympathetic smile, and patted her on the shoulder. "It must be really hard being a single mother. But ya know, you could always let me baby-sit or have Karin or Yuzu baby-sit. I'm sure they miss her as much as we miss her here…" Aria nodded in agreement and directed her gaze to The blonde haired man who was tickling her daughter. Miyuki was roaring with laughter while small tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. "Oi, Kisuke, don't tickle her to death, she's the only kid I have." Said man halted his assault on the child and got to his feet and brushed non-existent dirt off his black coat. His gray eyes, shadowed by his bucket hat regarded her seriously before his face broke out into its signature, goofy grin. As he walked over to the two adult females, he lifted his hands in defense. "Ne, Aria-Chan, you can always have more! You're still young, how's the love life?" The woman in question merely rolled her eyes, and smiled at her friends. "Speaking of love life…how are you two?" Urahara wrapped his arms around the golden-eyed were cat's waist and grinned. "We're perfectly fine, thank you" Aria smiled again. She always found herself smiling around them.

For the next hour or so the three adults chatted while Miyuki played with Ururu, Jinta, and Tessai. Aria was fiddling this her fingers as Yoruichi and Kisuke carried on a conversation she had dropped out of. Yoruichi looked at her suspiciously, "Aria. What's wrong? Why do you look so sad? Tell me." The woman being interrogated frowned even deeper and spoke quietly, "It would've been Ichigo's 23rd birthday today…" Although she had spoken in a whisper, the entire room hushed at her words. A solemn aura filled the room. Regret and sorrow so heavy it was nearly tangible. Aria felt bad for making everyone feel bad and opened her mouth to try and break the silence, but a glint of guilt she caught from Urahara's eyes quieted, and confused her. _'Why does Urahara look guilty?"_ she tried to ignore the feeling that he was hiding something from her. He would never hide anything about Ichigo from her…right? She shook that thought from her head. Tessai cleared his throat awkwardly, "does…anyone…want tea?" everyone murmured a yes and somehow changed the atmosphere around again and everyone began telling stories about Ichigo, trying to lighten the mood with stories filled with humor. They all sat, drinking tea and trading smiles and laughter, until it was dark outside.

The stars had climbed high in the sky and sparkled fiercely. As Miyuki looked for the big dipper, she held her mother's hand and walked next to her as Aria was wrapped up in her own thoughts. She smiled softly thinking back on some of the stories people had to tell. Ichigo was such an influential person…he changed so many people. Those thoughts brought her back to what Yoruichi had said about Karin and Yuzu baby-sitting. She hadn't seen them in a while. Or Isshin. Or Tatsuki, Orihime, Uryu, Chad, Keigo, Mizuiro or anybody really. She felt bad, she had been shutting herself off from reality for a while now and it was probably best to get back to it…Aria dragged herself our of her own head and glanced at her daughter, who was still searching for the big dipper. She laughed gently and pulled Miyuki along on the sidewalk.

Aria waited patiently for the cross walk sign to change. When it began to flash, indicating her it was safe to cross, she began walking to the other side of the street where her house lay. Aria and Miyuki were halfway across the street when suddenly, a semi-truck whipped around the corner. The driver was highly intoxicated and driving in a haze. The last thing Aria remembered, Miyuki was screaming as the bright headlights began to drown them.

Okayyyy so that was chapter one. I promise that the next chapters won't be so long, unless, you guys like long chapters… R&R and let me know if you longish chapters of short chapter. Thanks! 3


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